“That Love is all there is/Is all we know of Love” (Emily Dickinson)
Photo: The author with her husband Marcello (Vienna, 2024)
Read in Italian/Leggi in italiano
“Love is finding something when you thought it lost”
Excerpt from the poem “Love is not” included in the contemporary poetry collection Coffee Stains on My Books, Stefania Lucchetti, 2024
Purchase the book to read the full poem
I have long been reluctant to talk about love. This hesitation stems from many reasons and personal experiences. Mainly however it derives from the idea that love is such a personal and complex journey that speaking about it has always felt inadequate and limiting.
But then, poetry is the channel of expression of love par excellence, as it is of imperfection. So, at some point, I reopened the door to the possibility of thinking and talking about love. Therefore, I won’t refrain, on the occasion of Valentine’s Day week, from sharing a little of it with you.
The featured photo shows me with my husband Marcello during a wonderful family trip to Vienna in 2024. It was taken after a small argument.
You would not think so.
Two different desires, simple in their essence, clashed at that moment. Yet, from that small fracture, a memory was born that we still cherish today. Over time, regarding that particular matter, he understood my point of view, and I understood his. We love this photo precisely because it tells more than it shows: the argument was real, but so is the love that shines through the portrait
In this case, the disagreement was tiny, truly insignificant, but as the reader can imagine, over many years together, there have been many others, some of which definitely not small and not so easily overcome even through time.
Love is not simple. I often talk about it in my books and poems because it is a living, changing matter that feeds on ambiguous emotions. Love that lasts over time doesn’t thrive on intense, overwhelming emotions alone; it is also built through contrasts, silences, overcome misunderstandings – fractures that are sometimes small and everyday, and other times enormous and seemingly irreparable. It lives when there is a reason to start over every day, and that reason must be sought and renewed daily.
Recently, in a radiointerview connected to Valentine’s Day, I reflected precisely on this: how to hold onto love, how to make it last over time. There are no magic formulas, but perhaps there is a subtle thread that connects everything: the ability to find in the relationship and in the other person not only what makes us feel good but also what challenges us, forces us to grow, and helps us see life from a broader perspective. Mature love is a mirror in which to reflect ourselves, even when the image is not -and cannot be -always perfect.
My poems tell these fragments of everyday life: half-finished cups of coffee, words suspended in the air, smiles blooming after a tense moment. And this photo, with its imperfect backstory, is a perfect representation of that. After all, love is not found in the absence of conflicts, but in the choice to stay, to understand each other, and to create connections even on the most challenging days.
I talked about it in this radio interview with Story time Radio (in Italian, but subtitles are available)
Valentine’s Day Gift for the reader
For the attentive reader, here is a Valentine for you.
At THIS LINK you will find one of the poems included in Afternoons of Suspended Love (which is only available in its English version for now as it will be published later this year in Italian). The page is not public, it is only available via THIS LINK. You may share it with a loved one, or better yet, why not give my books as a gift?
